5 Qualities Every Strong Friendship Needs

Recently, I got together with a few friends for a cozy homemade breakfast. We each brought dishes to share amongst ourselves, and as jazzy pop music played quietly in the background, we updated ourselves on recent activities, reflected on each of our friendships, and eagerly made group plans for the summer. By the time I got home, my belly and heart were full, and I was left with immense gratitude. 

Why Friendship Matters

Friendship is an essential part of life. Where would we be without the love of our friends? Friends are special because they are the first relationships that we actually have control over. We don’t choose the families we’re born into, but we can choose our friends; and that choice has tremendous influence over the course of our lives. 

That’s why discernment is necessary when deciding who to be friends with. It may go without saying, but there’s more to making friends than just having good chemistry. While subjective elements like personality matter, the inherent characteristics of the individual matter just as much, if not more. So what are the best qualities for a potential friend to have? Well, there are multiple qualities, that go into choosing people to be part of your community, but I believe these five are vital for a healthy, lasting friendship to form:

1. Trustworthiness

Trust is major in any relationship, especially in a friendship. To trust someone means you believe that they are honest and dependable. It allows you the freedom to be vulnerable without fear of betrayal. Trust is built with time and consistency, which is why it’s so important. When assessing what kind of people you want in your life, make sure that trustworthiness is at the forefront.

2. Kindness

Personally, it’s important for my friends to be kind to everyone they encounter, not just people they like or want something from. The way someone treats another person they have no personal investment in reveals a lot about their character. Kindness is free. An unkind friend not only reflects badly on you, but shapes the kind of treatment you view as acceptable. 

3. Positivity

For a friendship to thrive, there has to be positive energy. Life is already hard enough. A good friend should be a lifeboat you can cling to, not the weight that pulls you further under water. Time spent with a friend should leave you feeling fulfilled, at ease, and uplifted. If, instead, you often walk away feeling drained, miserable, or anxious, it may be worth reconsidering whether that friendship is truly serving you.

4. Reciprocation

One of the biggest changes to friendships in adulthood is the lack of structure. Everyone has their own schedules, so staying in touch requires more intentionality. Because of this, reciprocity is essential (and a common trait in successful friendships). Both people have to make an effort to keep the relationship alive. When that effort becomes one-sided, it can lead to resentment and frustration, and ultimately jeopardize the friendship.

5. Empowerment

One thing I appreciate about each of my friends is how they inspire me to be better. Some push me to stay disciplined with my financial goals, while others encourage me to embrace my creativity. Some remind me to be present and make the most of where I am, while others inspire me to learn more about the world and my community. Surround yourself with people who inspire, encourage, and challenge you to grow into a better version of yourself. It’s one of the best things you can do.

Conclusion

Good friendships are incredible gifts and cultivating them takes time, intention, and wisdom. As you welcome new people into your circle, let these qualities guide you. But remember, friendship goes both ways. Seek them out in others, and commit to embodying them yourself.